Caulk In Hand

     I am going to admit something.  I am sexist within my marriage.  I just realised that I have been shuffling so many jobs to my husband because he is a man and therefore can perform certain tasks I think for some reason I cannot.  Hmmm.  I have a long list of home chores for him to do.  For example take heavy things out to the shed, finish painting a wall, hang a blind, caulk the bathroom window etc.  As I see his chore list growing my anger builds.  Please for the love of God get something off of that list!!  Then it hit me, he does things like cleaning and cooking (often even better than I do) so I am just going to go ahead and start doing some of his chores and see where it gets me.  These things started becoming his jobs naturally.  He is bigger and stronger so he carried home the groceries.  He is taller so he can put things away easier and on and on.  I did not intend for this to happen, it just did.

     And so today I began my new marriage goal.  Now somewhat done, I stand back and look at my work I think, not bad.  But what I am really happy about it that tonight while my hubby took a nap on the couch and then a long hot bath I worked my ass off reducing his stress level.  Prior to my recent can do attitude, I might have ideas of where his time could have been spent better.  Tonight though I silently and without any angry feelings did "his"chores.  I feel really proud of myself.  In addition to my mind changing about who can do what, I am also trying to micro-manage him less.  I have had some disappointments before and maybe might have been a teensy-weensy bit critical.  Tonight when my lovely husband asked me very direct questions about a minor decision I just made a few take it or leave is suggestions and said "you can handle it".  This is big for me as I am SLIGHTLY controlling over things that affect me.  He made great choices and I am glad not to of had to go through every little detail of what I expected.

     I hope you dear reader, will not think less of me for my reliance on gender segregated tasks.  I used to do everything on my own and never wanted to depend on Scott for anything ever.  In order to be in a relationship in any capacity though, you have to give and take.  Often going in the direction of whoever prefers or excels at a certain task will be the one to own that job forever.  I do see how I have been limiting myself though with these tendencies.   Although Scott enjoys and is better than me at computer stuff, I still should learn how to do it, you know, in case he chops all his fingers off.  Or he should bathe and groom the dogs just in case I ever chop all my fingers off.  I guess over all I still think that in any partnership, things run smoothest when people know what is expected of them and people perfect their skills by doing the same ones over and over.  However what I am learning is that taking the reins sometimes gives you a deep sense of appreciation for what your partner goes through to hold up their end of things.

     Take care of your loved ones!  

Treasure their commitment to making it work with you.

PS Sorry for the shameless title.