Today is a good day.  

I have soup boiling.  

Both dogs are happy.  

My home is semi-clean.  

     In many ways things are going kind of well..shitty... but for the most part I can see the daily joys and have so much to be grateful for.  I am holding in my heart that all things will be OK and that I am on the right path to bring me to something more.

     I am concentrating on how my life is one of service and how my mission in life is to lift up others from their dark places.  I am doing that in several ways lately.  It is funny though to see how wanting to live a life in service will attract certain unhealthy types of people/situations.  For the most part I see why my life has been drawn several times to working with children.  I see a long line of kids who have benefited from my presence in the way they needed at the time.  I realise now though how my lack of boundaries have prevented me from achieving my best work.  What stands out the most though is how I see my life has not only influenced kids, but families.  I really appreciate taking care of families as a whole and basically just loving people.  Sometimes I do honestly want to get away from people though and all their demands.  Recognising my boundaries now, I am learning to respect these feelings and give myself time to heal and rest from what have been some very hard days.  

     All people come to you perfectly imperfect.  All people come to you as teachers and students.  All people have the opportunity to hurt you or help you.  I wonder about life and if our mission is to be of use to others or to focus on ourselves.  I pondered this with a woman I respect last week.  She added to my life mission the care for my own spirit.  Hmm, that thought gives me the permission to rest and devote some of my time to self care.  That looks different to everyone but overall for me now it means to make and eat health giving foods, invest as much time as possible with my loved ones, to spend parts of my day in prayer and bible study,  mainly to give myself the time to hear answers to my questions.  My most important question is WHAT IS NEXT?  While living in and care-taking this moment, what should I do in the now to give myself the tomorrow that makes the most of my time on earth.

Rom 12:2: Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.